Lubbock has many houses of worship. The two biggest are Jones Stadium and the United Spirit Arena.
Lubbock has an annual event called “A Taste of Lubbock”. This is not to be confused with the event during dust storm season which is called “A Taste of Lubbock Landscape”.
Lubbock is tolerant of people of all sexes, temperaments, race, creed, color and sexual orientation, just as long as they are a good coach.
Lubbock’s idea of prohibition is to put all of the package liquor stores just outside of city limits, ‘cause Lord knows a fat guy wouldn’t cross the room for a donut.
The two biggest sports in the Spring are Tech Football games, and drunken brawls after Tech Football games.
Lubbock has some type of ten year cycle of weirdness. In the 70’s tornados hit. In the 80’s the Virgin Mary was supposed to appear. In the 90’s Lubbock was shook by an earthquake. In 2002 a Tech Professor lied about destroying viruses that could wipe out most of the population. Psychics predict that cycle will continue in 2011 when a Lubbock driver will use a turn signal (but then again, they may just bump it at the right time).
The two hardest things to find in Lubbock are bad barbeque and a parking space anywhere near Tech.
The Lubbock newspaper publishes a daily prayer on the front page. It’s very appropriate because there isn’t a prayer of finding anything interesting on the other pages.
There used to be a visible soft core drive in theater near a traffic intersection called “the circle” (because of its circular shape). It was a teen age right of passage to drive around the circle until you were dizzy in hopes of seeing a boobie.
Lubbock finally got the funds for an east-west freeway and promptly named it after a basketball coach. Evidently that astronaut from Techs mission wasn’t quite as dangerous as facing the Longhorns in away game.
Yeah, we have a newscaster who’s name sounds like Abnormal Testes. It’s true all traffic directions start with “get on the loop” and end with “get off the loop”. They don’t mention the middle part of “if you survive the loop”.
It took a full 30 years or more before Lubbock forgave Buddy Holly for being such a heathen rock and roller and honored him. It will be twice that before we claim Natalie Maines.
After a Tech victory against A & M, the Aggies responded by beating each other up.
No matter when you read this, today, ten years from now, or even if it was found in an archeological dig one fact about Lubbock will not have changed…The loop will still be under construction.
In the mid 80’s a cat house moved in next the radio station. They moved out because they didn’t like the neighbors.
Lubbock has the best, friendliest people in the world because as you can tell from the above list, all we really have is each other---Wes Nessman, KFMX
